well well well here i am setting to write in the classic way, no smss no e-mails just me, my pen and the whiteness of my paper, this is my confession room, the only place where i don't have to ask myself: am i sharing too much? what would the other think of my actions? overacting, smothering me with philosophical ideas/dilmmas, getting crazy on me, rushing his emotions, is he truely like this or just faking it?!
my paper is the monotoneous white spaces where i can lay my thoughts, empty my mind and immitate my tears metaphoring it to black lines/symbols only me can figure it out.
"you are not doing what you should be doing" said i to me, "you are an extremist that's what you are, months ago you were a closed scary box -going-with-the-flow, without a vision- so temptive to sarcasm. when, what was this point where you opened up like a clear sky? when, where did that glimpse of "true" touched your soul?
uncomfortable!! d i want to communicate this word/semiotic construction when in this moment in time i'm filled to the rim and more?! when for the first time in my life i feel intimate,
to myself, to true, to pure, to happy, to people, things, the one
intimate
to the sun
be true to yourself my son! to yourself be true, share all with yourself my son! just all with yourself! people are too fragile to take all what you have inside, they have their own burdens, their own capacities, share with "other" as much as the other willing to accept, not as much as you are willing to give!
don't imprison anyone in your dark rooms, you can't be imprisoned in one of theirs.
yes i totally agree to wha you just said, i was so childlish i found the sky blue frog it touched me deep, changed my whole life, turned it all sky blue, i took the frog to all the world, screamed "look, i found the sky blue frog" everyone liked it which filled me with joy.
i said "touch it, you have no idea what the touch will do!" some did, some didn't
"come on" i said "go on, touch it it's as hot as the heart of the sun" i said. some looked amazed, some looked shocked, had a "this guy is crazy" look on their faces.
some touched it
......waiting for the result!
1st of april 2005
